Where is the love?

Usually, after a very drunken night, if I'm all alone in bed, I end up praying. I ask God, if He is real,
to set me straight.

But the questions from Taiwan linger. I think the question never cut so clearly after the incident when my two non-Christian friends died. Their destination, according to John 3:16 is that they would probably be burning in hell. Where is that love of the bible that is so desperate? My Christian neighbour just popped in and dropped me a book. The apologetic kind that try to explain suffering etc etc. It tries to capture a God who is desperate to reach out to people. But it keeps coming back, the questions, where is that love of God preached in church? So fierce, so desperate, so ablaze. The love that sent His only Son to die for us? How is it that he chooses to extend that love, or possibly more accurately put, mercy to some, and not to the two of them that died in the crash?

It is written somewhere in the bible that "I will have mercy on those I have mercy on". Then the question begs, is it fair? Perhaps, in my possibly uninformed opinion, one of the most unfair things in the bible happened in the much celebrated passover, when God took Israel out of Egypt. Time and again, he poured out his judgement on the Egyptians, but when Pharoah relented, God hardened his heart. I don't know if God chose to harden his heart ten times, but for certain, during the passover, God hardened Pharoah's heart for the last time, and when Pharoah refused to let the Israelites go, God decided to send an angel of death to kill every firstborn son. It is later written that this was so the nations will know His glory/power, etc etc. It has always been a question for me as a Christian.

In fact, towards the end of last year, the unbelieving me sought out a pastor and asked him these questions. How is it God who calls himself just can seem to be so arbitrary and unfair. I am skeptical that all the Egyptians were necessarily very evil, they were probably no different from who the Christians call the unsaved. In addition, Pharoah did not make the Israelites stay out of his own choice, his heart was hardened by God. The pastor said that this was significant in representing God's judgement, and how only when you have the blood of the lamb, will one be spared this. It was a foreshadowing of the new testament principle.

The key thing is that God intervened in the possibility that Pharoah chose good over bad.

This vitiates the sanctity of choice Christians usually argue to explain man's fall and the presence of the serpent in the garden of Eden. Unless of course, this freedom to choose extends to some and not all, which then again brings in the question of justice.

He did this with the sons of Eli, Phineas and Hopneas as well. The royal priests of God who had defiled his temple, which I can see why it is significant. In fact, it was written in the Bible that God "desired to kill them" (again I do not have the exact reference, but it probably is available in Biblegateway). But where is the choice that is so talked about in the Bible, and more importantly, where is that seemingly desperate love that calls sinners to repentance? How can God claim to so love the world when He picks and chooses. This really bothers me.

My friends deaths really bothered me. It would be nice to have some answers. And I better start work on Misrepresentation so I can party so more come next week, LOL. Birthday bash had better be one crazy ass night. But I guess I can't avoid thinking of something that have been so huge a part of my life from time to time. O well!