Holy. Honey.

It looks as if the predictions my mates made might actually turn out to have some truth in it. We've been at it for a month, and it ends in a fortnight. The possibilities that surround this are quite endless, but I guess one has to be realistic and responsible.

I ought to go for one of those head-clearing late night runs. Somehow, I've been shunning the quiet, and of course have also been incredibly busy. Shunning the quiet probably because I'm living quite so recklessly and in the moment, without much regard for consequence(none for me I would think), that I want to avoid any sort of pensiveness that might alter things. I was caught between to heads, and vascillated quite some time before making my decsion which has landed me here.

How things have changed.

From possible pastor, to probable lawyer;

From evenings of fervency, to nights of revelry

From holy to honey,

and I'm enjoying the scents, the metallic, the salt, sour.

Wait a minuite...

Of late, I think I've been quite factitious. I've convinced myself that given the unfolding of events and the circumstances, the afore-mentioned definitions could be drawn again.

And drawn them I have.

Twisting a Line from Full Metal Jacket:

Me so good, me love ME long time. The deed has been done.

Which comes as a bit of a surprise for me. It's a rare but proud moment of triumph for ideals over pragmatism since my 1.5 year departure from religiosity. And may I add, I think it could be an act that would give clearer expression to the borders I would like to see my life demarcated by. It's just that now,

Me love me long time

Just not too long I hope.

Mea culpa, mea culpa, mea maxima culpa

As much as the degree of the sanctity of things ought to be defined by the people involved in them, certain observations can be drawn from the outside when one notices the manner in which others react. Consequently, if such observations point to it being sacred, then one ought to infringe upon it no more. If one does, it would no longer be easy to be comfortable in one's own skin because of the pricks the conscience might bear.

Perhaps certain proclivities can push one in that particular direction when things begin and the degrees are vague. The banality of it has perhaps also hardened the skin upon which the pricks may fall. However, as things grow more lucid, as might now be the case, one is obligated to rein himself in, and cease to usurp upon things sacred.

Luxe et Volupté

After quite a bit of revelry, I was reclining at a friend's balcony, reading Disgrace, sipping Australian Sauvignon Blanc and smoking All this somewhere abouts 3 in the morning.

That's quite the life.

And there and then, I suddenly remembered a pastor, and how he said in all fervour and verve, "that if you are not going to be a Chrstian, you might as well be the worse person in the world", or something to that effect. I do realize it might be rather intolerant, but I'm sure I'm taking it out of context, though I can't quite remember the context of that statment. Nevertheless, I think that little statement of his has taken a prophetic ring on my life. I don't think I'm awful bad, but I'm bad enough.

God, just think about the roles I might play next time... Hm..

Caution to the Wind, Principles to the Bin.

I think I'm definitely not as principled as I hope to be. Again, there are always defences one might have against accusations of such, but considering the extent of compromise, well it is quite bad. Out of the frying pan into the fire really. Ah, what the hell, it shall be good while it lasts.

And hurray to the family trip next week, and the Will Smith superhero show this weekend :)