Ouch.

And I've got out of M, exploiting the 24-hr termination clause, and will be on my way to innova to teach GP, so hurray, cos I get to see my debate kids abit more.

There's a downside to it though.

Even though I did not explicitly suggest it, I think it was implicit in my communication with the HOD English in M that my stay would be until the end of term. This sudden departure I would therefore assume, can be construed as irresponsibility on my part. She was cordial, but made an effort to let me know she was "disappointed".

I don't know if this sounds awful, but I guess I wasn't really bothered by her complains, which revolved mainly about how she was seriously understaffed.

It was in my opinion that my stay in M was of no benefit to me, and as much as I find teaching sec2 boys nostalgic and possibly fun, the constant need to discipline them was quite tiresome, and put next to GP that I taught at VJ, teaching letter-writing and descriptive essays seemed awfully boring.

So there I was, glad that I've decided to get out of M and Sec2 English. Glad until an old schoolmate found out I was leaving, for the reasons as above explained and commented that I was only thinking of myself, which was true, but a non-issue for me until he perspicaciously commented on something I was oblivious to, that I had not considered the welfare of the kids I was teaching. Ouch. That pricked, alot more than the fact that I was self-centred.

I was quick to want to defend myself by saying they did not really need me because everything that needed to be taught was taught(though I had not the chance to say it because he had to rush off some place else), but I guess he was right. I did not think of my students one bit when I planned to leave.

Regardless of whether they needed me (and I hold the opinion they do not), I guess he aptly pointed out the selfishness on my part in not thinking at all of the students. That being the reason for the above mentioned ouch.

I know it's not an excuse, but in my stint at M, I've incorporated the rather detatched attitude I took in the army from the ideals of the job(though suprisingly not with innova debate, love me kiddies there). Argh. I would think this sort of expectation management might me more apt when I graduate, not that I will really be "reasonable doubt for reasonable fee", but I am certain I'll be sorely disappointed if I do not mitigate exepctation.

Oh well, at least for the moment, inasmuch as I will relish the fun from this new job, I will make a concious effort to be more bothered at the new school.